You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
