giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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