Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
