It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
