im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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