Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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