I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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