Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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