I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just google imaged poop.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
