life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
