at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
