well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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