Where is the hickey?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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