Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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