I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize