Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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