wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
