My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
