Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
