My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do vagina's smell?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You're like the curious george of whores
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
