You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
