Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
