I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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