He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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