My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
