"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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