His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
