D3 body, D1 cock
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Your penis caused this!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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