Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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