I can tuck mytits in my pants
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
