people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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