I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
