Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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