I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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