hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
