the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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