We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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