I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
where does the pee come out of this thing
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
