it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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