Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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