Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
