Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
