Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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