I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
