There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize