So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
