I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
