My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
