At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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