The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
