I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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