he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
