..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
