Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
