i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
