i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
