gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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