Don't you send me to vm
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
