yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
