She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize