Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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