every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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