I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sobbing to NWA
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
