So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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